Monthly Archives: September 2011

My Fasting Journey

The Lord wouldn’t let me sleep one night mid August and when I listened to what he was trying to tell me before I fell asleep, I was delivered the firm awareness that I was to go on a liquid only fast for 40 days. Other times that I have tried to fast, when in my own strength and determination, I failed. In this liquid only fast I didn’t fail day 2, day 4, day 15, day 20……It went really well. I started out with the goal and need to break a food obsession (or lack-there-of obsession). It quickly turned into a time where God started to uncover “small” character flaws in my attitude and perceptions. I saw some ugly things in my rise up, like getting offended, hurt, etc. 

It also started to open my eyes to our future. Something, I had chosen to ignore so that I could be content in where we are and what we do. It can be exhausting to dream and pursue the vision for the future so I had sat back and thought, this is easy and comfortable for a change. However, the fast began to birth some new things and bring to light the old things we have dreamed of and even done before. I started thinking about our time in MI when we had Easter Sunrise service in the park in the center of the city. I began to dream again about another day of a huge Easter Egg hunt like we did for the city. Wanting to be intricately involved in a community is our heart! Suddenly, God was revealing the things we did well and that we shouldn’t forget and that we should try again. 

The fast was going great, aside from common light-headedness and weakness. Then on day 28 I passed out in our house. After having our kids run in with Shawn to find their mommy laying on the floor unresponsive, I felt released to eat something to get my strength and protein back up. Shawn and I talked and I told him of my desire to end the fast. I determined I would give up coffee and sugar for the last 11 days. It has been 6 days of eating and last night I wrestled as I tried to sleep with the fact that God is not done speaking and revealing at a “fast” rate. Food gets in the way for me….I think about all the options and find my comfort and safety in it. I want that broken among other things. 

Today I will start a Daniel Fast until Sept. 28th. 

God, give me strength and direction. Sustain me, but more importantly continue to speak wisdom, knowledge and discernment into my spirit. 

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6 more Months of Learning, Growing, Developing.

Will learning and growing ever end?? Nope….and it shouldn’t. However, there are times when I feel a concentrated amount of learning taking place. Usually through pressure and squeezing of my brain and heart, right?! The strain that requires we learn or bust. From that comes growing. “Growing pains” isn’t just a phrase, it is a true affect of choosing to grow.

Development is the final part where we actually see some hope peeking through. We begin to see what the learning and growing from pain and stretching is creating in us. Developing into the person we should have been. Developing tools to deal with situations in the right way vs. the less mature way. Developing a prayer life that takes the Word and correct thinking into consideration rather than our old way of making decisions. Development is like getting on the scale and seeing that a month of dieting and excercise resulted in losing 20lbs. At that moment, all the hunger and sweat were worth the result.

Is every strain worth development? Yes! How long will it take to see full development? Forever! That is the tough part for us to wrap our mind around. How can we go through so much thinking, “This time I figured it out” and turn around to have to start up the next mountain of learning? 

We won’t be fully sanctified (or mature) until we get to heaven and the trying is over. We won’t dodge conflict or learning until we come to the end and face the Final Say. I am learning that growing and development is a non-negotiable. I am learning to humble myself enough to lose the mindset that “I should have figured it all out by now”. That, I repeatedly have to tell myself, is a slippery dark slope. One in which shuts the door to being teachable. Being teachable is being humble and being humble is being teachable. At even 90 years old we should still be teachable. 

My desire and prayer is to be humble, teachable, flexible, longsuffering and willing to learn. As I look at the past 6 months that we have been consulting and revitalizing for different organizations, we have actually been the ones learning and growing. Though life is not safe and secure and set out before us, we are making a point to stay humble and teachable. We are waiting on God to plant us in THE CITY we are to make a covenant with and devote our lives to. Until then, learning, growing and developing is welcomed as preparation for that day. 

 


My Fasting Journey

The Lord wouldn’t let me sleep one night mid August and when I listened to what he was trying to tell me before I fell asleep, I was delivered the firm awareness that I was to go on a liquid only fast for 40 days. Other times that I have tried to fast, when in my own strength and determination, I failed. In this liquid only fast I didn’t fail day 2, day 4, day 15, day 20……It went really well. I started out with the goal and need to break a food obsession (or lack-there-of obsession). It quickly turned into a time where God started to uncover “small” character flaws in my attitude and perceptions. I saw some ugly things in my rise up, like getting offended, hurt, etc. 

It also started to open my eyes to our future. Something, I had chosen to ignore so that I could be content in where we are and what we do. It can be exhausting to dream and pursue the vision for the future so I had sat back and thought, this is easy and comfortable for a change. However, the fast began to birth some new things and bring to light the old things we have dreamed of and even done before. I started thinking about our time in MI when we had Easter Sunrise service in the park in the center of the city. I began to dream again about another day of a huge Easter Egg hunt like we did for the city. Wanting to be intricately involved in a community is our heart! Suddenly, God was revealing the things we did well and that we shouldn’t forget and that we should try again. 

The fast was going great, aside from common light-headedness and weakness. Then on day 28 I passed out in our house. After having our kids run in with Shawn to find their mommy laying on the floor unresponsive, I felt released to eat something to get my strength and protein back up. Shawn and I talked and I told him of my desire to end the fast. I determined I would give up coffee and sugar for the last 11 days. It has been 6 days of eating and last night I wrestled as I tried to sleep with the fact that God is not done speaking and revealing at a “fast” rate. Food gets in the way for me….I think about all the options and find my comfort and safety in it. I want that broken among other things. 

Today I will start a Daniel Fast until Sept. 28th. 

God, give me strength and direction. Sustain me, but more importantly continue to speak wisdom, knowledge and discernment into my spirit. 


6 more Months of Learning, Growing, Developing.

Will learning and growing ever end?? Nope….and it shouldn’t. However, there are times when I feel a concentrated amount of learning taking place. Usually through pressure and squeezing of my brain and heart, right?! The strain that requires we learn or bust. From that comes growing. “Growing pains” isn’t just a phrase, it is a true affect of choosing to grow.

Development is the final part where we actually see some hope peeking through. We begin to see what the learning and growing from pain and stretching is creating in us. Developing into the person we should have been. Developing tools to deal with situations in the right way vs. the less mature way. Developing a prayer life that takes the Word and correct thinking into consideration rather than our old way of making decisions. Development is like getting on the scale and seeing that a month of dieting and excercise resulted in losing 20lbs. At that moment, all the hunger and sweat were worth the result.

Is every strain worth development? Yes! How long will it take to see full development? Forever! That is the tough part for us to wrap our mind around. How can we go through so much thinking, “This time I figured it out” and turn around to have to start up the next mountain of learning? 

We won’t be fully sanctified (or mature) until we get to heaven and the trying is over. We won’t dodge conflict or learning until we come to the end and face the Final Say. I am learning that growing and development is a non-negotiable. I am learning to humble myself enough to lose the mindset that “I should have figured it all out by now”. That, I repeatedly have to tell myself, is a slippery dark slope. One in which shuts the door to being teachable. Being teachable is being humble and being humble is being teachable. At even 90 years old we should still be teachable. 

My desire and prayer is to be humble, teachable, flexible, longsuffering and willing to learn. As I look at the past 6 months that we have been consulting and revitalizing for different organizations, we have actually been the ones learning and growing. Though life is not safe and secure and set out before us, we are making a point to stay humble and teachable. We are waiting on God to plant us in THE CITY we are to make a covenant with and devote our lives to. Until then, learning, growing and developing is welcomed as preparation for that day.